The last couple of weekends have been a break of the usual routine. Hopped on a train that somehow felt like a time machine, I was lucky to spend time with people with whom I don’t get enough time. And it felt amazing 🙂
On the weekend of the 7th of March, I got to spend time with my best friend Cristina, her husband Matteo and their little guy “‘Bele” who just turned two years old. We often chat over the phone, and I always melt when he calls me “zio” but it is a complete different experience when you get to spend time with him and my good friends. First, I was shocked how quick he immediately made the connection between “the man on a little screen” and “the guy standing at his doorstep asking for a hug”. And that little boy already gives great hugs! I had not seen him in person now for just about a year, after the wedding party last year, and from one year old to two year old is quite the difference. He communicates, he understands, he screams… He is absolutely adorable. We had a lovely birthday party with my friends’ families. I got mistaken for the baby’s actual uncle Federico, who is ten years younger, so I took it as a compliment! The best scene with one of his uncles: I was chatting with Cristina’s dad, who knows me since childhood, and I mention Switzerland, so the guy jumps in saying “I didn’t know you moved!” and I said “yeah, about a year ago” and he asks “so I guess your girlfriend moved with you, so how is she liking it?” and I go “…ehm… he likes it” and he goes “uh?! he?” and my friend’s dad, very diplomatically, adds “it’s a he” and smiles. The uncle literally has a face filled with a thousand question marks, decides to give up and go “ah.” And that was it. A little while after, during lunch, he calls me by my friend’s brother’s name, so it is clear now he had me completely mistaken. Cristina’s dad goes: “you do realise this is not my son, he is her best friend from childhood” and the guy goes “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOW I understand!” and apologises to everyone! It was hilarious to see him putting all the pieces together. And a huge relief for me too, I mean, not that the guy had ever given me any “homophobic vibe” but I was like “really? Do we need to go through this again?” and instead he was just asking himself “what did I miss?!?”. Hilarious.
But also, Gabriele’s cuteness aside, it was wonderful to spend time with my friends again. Not that we did much, and I did not want to do much apart from hanging out, even sharing a pizza in the evening and a walk in town in the morning was all I needed. Plus to be there and to see their life together, to have a glimpse of what they’re building together, it is always somewhat of a feeling of pride because I am genuinely happy to see what they have accomplished and how far we all have come. The other good thing is: I get to see them again very soon, as we are going to Peschiera del Garda once again this year to celebrate our first anniversary. And we’re planning a dinner with our Cristinas 😀
And just the weekend after, I went back to Italy, this time in Milan with the excuse of a concert, Jade from Little Mix. Francesco convinced me many months ago to get a ticket for it, he and Biagio would be there from Napoli and it would be a good excuse to see each other. Now, last time I saw Francesco it was Summer 2024, when Daniel and I met him and Ettore in Napoli. But Biagio I had actually never met him in real life before! Both of them are from the glorious times of internet V1.0, pre-social media, pre-smartphones etc. Back then we used to find people with same interests in forums (they still exists, but they have been sadly mostly replaced by reddit, facebook groups etc.). It must have been the early 2000s when I got my first internet connection at home, and the first forums I started to participate in where music forums. Despite not being the biggest Spice Girls fan at the time, given their popularity, I ended up in the legendary SpiceFlash community: a nation-wide fanbase for, obviously the Spice Girls, but also for pop music in general. That was a game changer. For a gay teenager in the south of Italy with basically zero exposure to anything queer, to see people of the same age, “similar” backgrounds, having a chance to interact lightly on such small things, it meant that there was hope to feel part of a community. And already back then there were two groups: the ones from the north of Italy, around the Milano area or Bologna, and then the south of Italy, that essentially stopped with Napoli. So, once again, I didn’t really fit in. When I stumbled into that community, basically once it was already flourishing, I was somewhat of a newcomer, still geographically distant and definitely without any sort of opportunities to join their “meet ups” in one of the big cities etc. But back in the day, interacting online was easy and hit differently. I was speaking about this with my therapist, and she made a very interesting statement: according to many studies, that was the era before the “like” button, which changed the internet. And yes, back in the those days, we weren’t posting/writing to then “count the likes” or compare reactions, we were genuinely willing to have and continue a conversation. We were driven by curiosity and the longing for connections. It had nothing to do with likes and followers, we had essentially no faces (except the rare pictures posted by whoever have a chance to scan a photo, or get a terrible webcam picture!). And so it was like that that I got to know Francesco and Biagio, among others. And those connections survived the years, the transition to social media, the numerous moves. And once again, as soon as we all met, at the Stazione Centrale, in Milano, it was like pieces of a puzzle coming together, and just like when I met Francesco that one time in London many years ago, it was again like I had known Biagio for as long as I can remember, because in many ways, I had indeed. In fact, it was not just the three of us there, Nick was also there, who I also had met in similar ways back when I was studying in Milano. After I moved for University I had essentially “joined” the part of the community from the north of Italy, and Nick was probably the first friendship I got to bring from the virtual to the real world. And we have been close ever since! I wonder if people (kids or not) still have a similar experience. In the recent years, the only friendship that comes close to these in terms of dynamics, is my friendship with Aaron, from New Zealand, met on a Facebook group for a few years and got to meet up in Munich just 3 years ago (thanks to No Angels this time haha).
But back to the weekend in Milano! We had a great time! We got blessed with nonstop rain (despite what some weather forecast apps said…) and so we just spent really quality time catching up. There was me, Francesco, Biagio, Nick, Luca for a cotoletta for lunch, I got to see Max again (also after 10 years?) and met his boyfriend for the first time. From the inevitable “do you remember that guy?” to “oh my god you also watched that cartoon as a kid???”, I had the best time!
We did go to the concert! It was good fun, not necessarily the crowd I was expecting (in a good way?). I hadn’t been in a concert in Italy since Kylie’s Aphrodite tour! This was definitely on a different scale haha It was at the Fabrique, which I think it was where I went to see Röyksopp that one time with Mauro and his friends (another story…). I recognised nobody there! I mean, I did leave Milano now more than 15 years ago, so that kinda makes sense. But it did feel weird to be back “in the scene” 😀
Overall, it was a fantastic little weekend. And I say weekend but it was literally one day: got a train from Zurich on Saturday morning, and went back the day after with an 8AM train (we had tickets for a drag brunch in Zurich. And those were expensive haha). I would do it all over again! In fact, we said we should make it somewhat of a regular thing: meet in Milano, spend a day trash talking <3 I am already looking forward to that already!
Next: mid April we are heading to France for our friends’ wedding, then Peschiera del Garda at the end of April. For May, a weekend in Germany for little Leo’s baptism, and off to Crete at the end of May for Anastasia’s wedding! What a 2026!
